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‘My karma isn’t in sync today’ and other crazy call-in excuses

Jennifer Azara
by Jennifer Azara
June 8, 2012
2 minute read
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Second only to cold and flu season, summer is the next biggest time of year when people call out sick.

Only the odds are fewer folks are actually ailing during these months. Some of your employees may be looking to get a head start on (or extend) that weekend at the beach. Or they might just want to enjoy a warm sunny day in the yard.

Which means you’re likely to hear some excuses for why you’ll have to do without that finance staffer.

But will they be as creative as these real-life excuses we found?

  1. “Bats got in my hair.”
  2. “I was in line at a coffee shop when a truck carrying flour backed up and dumped the flour into my convertible.”
  3. “I got a cold from a puppy.”
  4. “I drank anti-freeze by mistake and had to go to the hospital.”
  5. “I ate too much at a party.”
  6. “Someone was following me, and I drove all around town trying to lose them.”
  7. “My dog dialed 911, and the police wanted to question me about what ‘really’ happened.”
  8. “My girlfriend got mad and destroyed all of my undergarments.”
  9. “My karma isn’t in sync today.”
  10. “I woke up and thought I was temporarily deaf.”
  11. “I hurt my back chasing a beaver.”
  12. “Employee got his toe caught in a vent cover.”
  13. “Employee had a headache after going to too many garage sales.”
  14. “I just wasn’t ‘feelin’ it’ this morning.”
  15. “I was up all night arguing with God.”
  16. “My garage won’t open – and I can’t get car out.”
  17. My power went out RANDOMLY and then I couldn’t dry my workshirt.”
  18. “I’m having a hair emergency.”
  19. “My toaster was broken.”
  20. “I slipped during shower sex.”
  21. “I ate too much cheese.”
  22. “Number Two.” [That was all the reason given – no elaboration.].
  23. “A raccoon stole my work shoe off my porch.”
  24. “I super-glued my eye thinking it was contact solution.”
  25. “I was putting lotion on my face when my finger went up my nose causing a nose bleed.”
  26. “A prostitute climbed into my car at a stop light, and I was afraid my wife would see her and think I was messing around… so I got out of the car.”

Can you top these? Share the best excuse you’ve heard here.

 

Jennifer Azara
Jennifer Azara
Jennifer, a member of the CFO Daily News staff, has covered business and finance for more than 22 years. She has written for CFOs, credit and collections professionals and accounts payable practitioners and has spoken at industry conferences on sales and use tax compliance.

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